Housisms : Sports Medicine

Housisms for episode Sports Medicine:

A severely broken arm reveals a bizarre case of bone loss and ends the comeback plans of major league pitcher Hank Wiggen. House suspects Hank -- with a history of drug abuse -- is lying about using steroids, as his condition worsens. When Hank's kidneys start to fail, his wife offers to donate hers, but she would have to abort her early pregnancy. Forced into an impossible solution, and admitting failure as an addict, Hank tries to take his own life. House and his team must isolate and fix the problem soon if this pitcher's life, as well his career, can be saved. Meanwhile, Foreman dates a pharmaceutical representative and House is stuck with two tickets and ends up going on a "date" with Cameron... to a monster truck rally.

House: Call me when he's stable -- or dead.

Dr. Cameron: His heart rate is 130 and rising like a Randy Johnson line drive.
House: 'A' for effort.

Lola: You're not gonna tell me it's a bad idea? Why give a kidney to someone who might not be able to use it?
House: Not my area. That is, however, my chair.

Dr. Cameron: You asking me to go with you?
House: Sure. Sounds good.
Dr. Cameron: Like a... date?
House: Exactly. Except for the "date" part.

House: You see, kidneys don't wear watches. Sure, gallbladders do, but it doesn't matter, 'cause kidneys can't tell time.

Lola: He drops a clean urine, denies using steroids, then you're giving him a drug (lupra) for what, steroid abuse?
House: No, no, it's not. It - it's got calcium in it. It's very good for the bones. Basically, on a molecular level, it's just milk.

House: See? Steroid use shrinks the testicles.
Hank: I am clean, man - no steroids, no nothing.
House: Your lips say no, your prunes say yes.

House: 5 p.m., Dr. House checks out.
Dr. Cuddy: It's 4:45.
House: I was rounding up.

House: Go ask him what he's on. When he says nothing, have him pee in a cup.

House: But I had three reasons.
Dr. Cuddy: Good ones?
House: Well, let's see in a minute - I'm just making them up now.

Dr. Cuddy: You put him on lupra.
House: Uh-huh.
Dr. Cuddy: And you told him it was like milk?
House: Yes.
Dr. Cuddy: Is there any way in which that is not a lie?
House: It's creamy.

House: 'Hypo-gonadism'. Ain't that a great word? Thanks - we don't get to say it enough.

Patient: I can't get my contact lenses out.
House: Out of what - they're not in your eyes.
Patient: They're red.
House: That's because you're trying to remove your corneas.

House: All life is equally sacred. And I promise you, the next knitting injury that comes in here, we're on it like stink on cheese.

Lola: You have a big 'keep out' sign stapled on your forehead.
House: That explains it. I told them to put it on my door.

House: The groupies sleep with the roadies to get to Mick.
Dr. Foreman: And you're... Mick?
House: That was the metaphor I was making, yes.

Dr. Cameron: She buys lunches - she doesn't...
House: Don't worry, you're not gay. You're...adventurous.

House: Hank Wiggen peed on me. What do you think these pants are worth on E-bay?

House: You're religious.
Dr. Cameron: You have to be religious to believe the fetus is alive?
House: There seems to be a correlation.

House: Fine. I'll ask one of my other friends.
Dr. Wilson: Huh.
House: What? Are you saying I've only got one friend.
Dr. Wilson: Who?
House: Kevin. In Bookkeeping.
Dr. Wilson: Okay, well first of all, his name is Carl.
House: I call him Kevin. It's his secret friendship club name.

House: These tickets are so good, we have to sign a release. I mean it - we do this, we could die!

House: Let's not ruin a lovely night out by getting personal.

Lola: Get another explanation.
House: Yeah, I have one in my other pants.

House: Which brings me to my fourth reason.
Dr. Cuddy: I thought you said there were only three?
House: I thought you'd buy one of them.

House: A very noble gesture. My favorite kind. Dramatic, yet completely empty.

House: True love. That's just how we match organs these days. There's a couple in France - childhood sweethearts. They're trading brains.

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Home Housisms Forums Quote Of The Day Buy House on DVD Contribute Other Isms Links Total Isms in the database: 1438	Housisms for episode Sports Medicine: A severely broken arm reveals a bizarre case of bone loss and ends the comeback plans of major league pitcher Hank Wiggen. House suspects Hank -- with a history of drug abuse -- is lying about using steroids, as his condition worsens. When Hank's kidneys start to fail, his wife offers to donate hers, but she would have to abort her early pregnancy. Forced into an impossible solution, and admitting failure as an addict, Hank tries to take his own life. House and his team must isolate and fix the problem soon if this pitcher's life, as well his career, can be saved. Meanwhile, Foreman dates a pharmaceutical representative and House is stuck with two tickets and ends up going on a "date" with Cameron... to a monster truck rally. House: Call me when he's stable -- or dead. Dr. Cameron: His heart rate is 130 and rising like a Randy Johnson line drive. House: 'A' for effort. Lola: You're not gonna tell me it's a bad idea? Why give a kidney to someone who might not be able to use it? House: Not my area. That is, however, my chair. Dr. Cameron: You asking me to go with you? House: Sure. Sounds good. Dr. Cameron: Like a... date? House: Exactly. Except for the "date" part. House: You see, kidneys don't wear watches. Sure, gallbladders do, but it doesn't matter, 'cause kidneys can't tell time. Lola: He drops a clean urine, denies using steroids, then you're giving him a drug (lupra) for what, steroid abuse? House: No, no, it's not. It - it's got calcium in it. It's very good for the bones. Basically, on a molecular level, it's just milk. House: See? Steroid use shrinks the testicles. Hank: I am clean, man - no steroids, no nothing. House: Your lips say no, your prunes say yes. House: 5 p.m., Dr. House checks out. Dr. Cuddy: It's 4:45. House: I was rounding up. House: Go ask him what he's on. When he says nothing, have him pee in a cup. House: But I had three reasons. Dr. Cuddy: Good ones? House: Well, let's see in a minute - I'm just making them up now. Dr. Cuddy: You put him on lupra. House: Uh-huh. Dr. Cuddy: And you told him it was like milk? House: Yes. Dr. Cuddy: Is there any way in which that is not a lie? House: It's creamy. House: 'Hypo-gonadism'. Ain't that a great word? Thanks - we don't get to say it enough. Patient: I can't get my contact lenses out. House: Out of what - they're not in your eyes. Patient: They're red. House: That's because you're trying to remove your corneas. House: All life is equally sacred. And I promise you, the next knitting injury that comes in here, we're on it like stink on cheese. Lola: You have a big 'keep out' sign stapled on your forehead. House: That explains it. I told them to put it on my door. House: The groupies sleep with the roadies to get to Mick. Dr. Foreman: And you're... Mick? House: That was the metaphor I was making, yes. Dr. Cameron: She buys lunches - she doesn't... House: Don't worry, you're not gay. You're...adventurous. House: Hank Wiggen peed on me. What do you think these pants are worth on E-bay? House: You're religious. Dr. Cameron: You have to be religious to believe the fetus is alive? House: There seems to be a correlation. House: Fine. I'll ask one of my other friends. Dr. Wilson: Huh. House: What? Are you saying I've only got one friend. Dr. Wilson: Who? House: Kevin. In Bookkeeping. Dr. Wilson: Okay, well first of all, his name is Carl. House: I call him Kevin. It's his secret friendship club name. House: These tickets are so good, we have to sign a release. I mean it - we do this, we could die! House: Let's not ruin a lovely night out by getting personal. Lola: Get another explanation. House: Yeah, I have one in my other pants. House: Which brings me to my fourth reason. Dr. Cuddy: I thought you said there were only three? House: I thought you'd buy one of them. House: A very noble gesture. My favorite kind. Dramatic, yet completely empty. House: True love. That's just how we match organs these days. There's a couple in France - childhood sweethearts. They're trading brains. Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? Suggest a Correction
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