Housisms : Whatever It Takes

Housisms for episode Whatever It Takes:

Based on practically no information and no medical history about a mystery patient sent by the CIA, House is using some unorthodox methods to diagnose and treat him. Meanwhile the remaining candidates are questioning Foreman's judgment.

House: If I have to walk somewhere, there better be at least five girls involved. And they’d better be working their way through college.

House: Does the "I" in CIA stand for irony?

House: My friends call me "The Cane." Even before I messed up my leg.

Kutner: (Talking about the CIA agent) Who's your friend?
House: We use the term "life-partner."

House: FYI, my malpractice insurance doesn't cover alien autopsies.
Dr. Terzi: That's fine, X-Files are the next wing over.

Curtis: Says here he ate a lot of chestnuts.
House: Hold on a second. If the Squirrel Liberation Army is involved I'm outta here. Those little rodents are...
Curtis: Horse chestnuts are poisonous, if someone switched them...
House: Horse chestnuts may look like chestnuts, but they taste like a horse's lower than chestnuts. Which makes the theory that he accidentally ate a couple hundred slightly less persuasive.

Dr. Wilson: They did a background check on you, they did a background check on your friends.
House: Relax. I'm sure they already know that you brought heroin back from Afghanistan.
Dr. Wilson: That's... that's not true. I've never been to Afghanistan. House?

Dr. Wilson: I was wondering when you'd grow bored of avoiding my calls.
House: Oh, I can never grow bored of ignoring you.

House: I know how to kill a man with my thumb.
Dr. Cuddy: Who doesn't?

House: You've gotta get down here. They've got a satellite aimed directly into Cuddy's vagina. I told them the chances of invasion are slim to none, but...

Dr. Wilson: Either you're sprawled naked on your floor with an empty bottle of Vicodin, or collapsed naked in front of your computer with a empty bottle of Viagra. Please tell me which because Chase has another pool going.
House: They flew me in to help deal with a sick employee. How much...
Dr. Wilson: Hallucinations. Damn, I shouldn't have bet on the Viagra.

House: Now we got the medical stuff out of the way, why don't we meet at your place for some enhanced interrogation techniques. My safe word is "help please please stop." That's two pleases. Anything less than that, you keep going.
Dr. Terzi: You actually cure this guy, I'll show you my private waterboard.

House: Okay, you're in charge.
Dr. Foreman: I know!

House: Wanna ditch Dr. Killjoy and hop on the company jet? A little trip down Mexico way? I'm not talking about the country or the plane.
Dr. Terzi: You think acting like an idiot and talking about sex works on girls?
House: Well if it didn't, the human race would have died out long ago.

Cole: That's your breakfast?
House: Technically, it’s Wilson’s lunch.

Dr. Terzi: John hasn't vomited in six hours.
House: What's to vomit? I'm eating his lunch.

House: You know, I happen to have a position available on my penis. Wait a second, I think I screwed up that joke.
Dr. Terzi: You offering me a job?
House: I'll settle for that.

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Home Housisms Forums Quote Of The Day Buy House on DVD Contribute Other Isms Links Total Isms in the database: 1439	Housisms for episode Whatever It Takes: Based on practically no information and no medical history about a mystery patient sent by the CIA, House is using some unorthodox methods to diagnose and treat him. Meanwhile the remaining candidates are questioning Foreman's judgment. House: If I have to walk somewhere, there better be at least five girls involved. And they’d better be working their way through college. House: Does the "I" in CIA stand for irony? House: My friends call me "The Cane." Even before I messed up my leg. Kutner: (Talking about the CIA agent) Who's your friend? House: We use the term "life-partner." House: FYI, my malpractice insurance doesn't cover alien autopsies. Dr. Terzi: That's fine, X-Files are the next wing over. Curtis: Says here he ate a lot of chestnuts. House: Hold on a second. If the Squirrel Liberation Army is involved I'm outta here. Those little rodents are... Curtis: Horse chestnuts are poisonous, if someone switched them... House: Horse chestnuts may look like chestnuts, but they taste like a horse's lower than chestnuts. Which makes the theory that he accidentally ate a couple hundred slightly less persuasive. Dr. Wilson: They did a background check on you, they did a background check on your friends. House: Relax. I'm sure they already know that you brought heroin back from Afghanistan. Dr. Wilson: That's... that's not true. I've never been to Afghanistan. House? Dr. Wilson: I was wondering when you'd grow bored of avoiding my calls. House: Oh, I can never grow bored of ignoring you. House: I know how to kill a man with my thumb. Dr. Cuddy: Who doesn't? House: You've gotta get down here. They've got a satellite aimed directly into Cuddy's vagina. I told them the chances of invasion are slim to none, but... Dr. Wilson: Either you're sprawled naked on your floor with an empty bottle of Vicodin, or collapsed naked in front of your computer with a empty bottle of Viagra. Please tell me which because Chase has another pool going. House: They flew me in to help deal with a sick employee. How much... Dr. Wilson: Hallucinations. Damn, I shouldn't have bet on the Viagra. House: Now we got the medical stuff out of the way, why don't we meet at your place for some enhanced interrogation techniques. My safe word is "help please please stop." That's two pleases. Anything less than that, you keep going. Dr. Terzi: You actually cure this guy, I'll show you my private waterboard. House: Okay, you're in charge. Dr. Foreman: I know! House: Wanna ditch Dr. Killjoy and hop on the company jet? A little trip down Mexico way? I'm not talking about the country or the plane. Dr. Terzi: You think acting like an idiot and talking about sex works on girls? House: Well if it didn't, the human race would have died out long ago. Cole: That's your breakfast? House: Technically, it’s Wilson’s lunch. Dr. Terzi: John hasn't vomited in six hours. House: What's to vomit? I'm eating his lunch. House: You know, I happen to have a position available on my penis. Wait a second, I think I screwed up that joke. Dr. Terzi: You offering me a job? House: I'll settle for that. Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? Suggest a Correction
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