Housisms : House's Head

Housisms for episode House's Head:

A bus accident leaves House with serious head trauma and partial amnesia. He comes to believe that a patient on the bus had a life-threatening disease and struggles to recall who it was, and what they had.

House: Say five words.
Prostitute: What do you mean?
House: That's four words.

House: Didn't you see Altered States?
Thirteen: I don't think I was even born when that movie was out.
House: Well then you're too young to be a doctor. That movie was released in 1980.
Thirteen: That was 28 years ago.
House: No it wasn't. Shut up.
Thirteen: Did you just... forget what year it is?
House: No. I just remembered how old I am.

House: I need time for my brain to transition so I can embrace my inner monkey. Or maybe I don't. Give me some physostigmine. It crosses the blood-brain barrier.
Thirteen: And act like a nerve gas, stop your heart, you'll go to Heaven and be omniscient. Good idea. Not gonna happen.
House: Don't do anything. Even if I escape, eat a goat, get shot by police...

Fantasy Cuddy: I'm distracting you. (stops stripping and sits next to House)
House: No! Dance, woman!
Fantasy Cuddy: You'd rather be diagnosing.
House: I screamed "no."
Fantasy Cuddy: And your own subconscious ignored you. Because you'd rather fantasize about finding symptoms. How screwed up is that?

House: I used to drive home after getting drunk, but some mothers got MAD-D-D.

House: Lesbian. Find out if anybody on that bus was taken to other hospitals.
Thirteen: He just forgot mine.
House: No, Thirteen. I just wanted to call you a lesbian.
Thirteen: I'm not a lesbian.
House: I was rounding up from 50%.

Dr. Cameron: You're staying the night. We need to monitor your brain for swelling.
House: How much bigger could it get?

Dr. Wilson: What are you running away from?
House: When I'm drinking without you, what am I running away from? Hmmm, one of those imponderables.

House: You a nose picker?
Goth Kid: Do I have to answer...?
House: If the answer was "no," you would have answered.

Goth Kid: You're kidding, right?
House: If I was kidding, I'd be dressed like you.

House: Your legs are not your biggest problem. Your biggest problem is, I don't know what your biggest problem is.

Dr. Wilson: (running a MRI on House) There's edema and localized swelling in the section of the temporal lobe that controls short-term memory. Also, the penis-size cortex is set to "pathetic."

Fantasy Cuddy: You're convinced your patient is dying, and you want to waste your time with a sex fantasy?
House: Don't blame me, blame my gender.

Thirteen: Give him five minutes. Brainstorming a few possibilities isn't going to explode his brain.
House: And if she's wrong, that makes this phone call that much more exciting.

Kutner: (answers the phone) Yeah?
House: So the carbo-loading marathon isn't working. (Kutner looks around) Stop looking around suspiciously. To answer your next two questions, no I am not there, and yes, you are completely predictable.

Kutner: You let him back in?
Dr. Cuddy: I asked him back in.
House: At the tail end of me patiently explaining how you idiots are idiots.

House: The other nurse always used to tuck me in.
Dr. Cuddy: I'll be on the couch... with a shotgun on my lap.
House: Worrying about me?
Dr. Cuddy: Making sure you don't make a limp for the border, get some sleep.

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Home Housisms Forums Quote Of The Day Buy House on DVD Contribute Other Isms Links Total Isms in the database: 1958	Housisms for episode House's Head: A bus accident leaves House with serious head trauma and partial amnesia. He comes to believe that a patient on the bus had a life-threatening disease and struggles to recall who it was, and what they had. House: Say five words. Prostitute: What do you mean? House: That's four words. House: Didn't you see Altered States? Thirteen: I don't think I was even born when that movie was out. House: Well then you're too young to be a doctor. That movie was released in 1980. Thirteen: That was 28 years ago. House: No it wasn't. Shut up. Thirteen: Did you just... forget what year it is? House: No. I just remembered how old I am. House: I need time for my brain to transition so I can embrace my inner monkey. Or maybe I don't. Give me some physostigmine. It crosses the blood-brain barrier. Thirteen: And act like a nerve gas, stop your heart, you'll go to Heaven and be omniscient. Good idea. Not gonna happen. House: Don't do anything. Even if I escape, eat a goat, get shot by police... Fantasy Cuddy: I'm distracting you. (stops stripping and sits next to House) House: No! Dance, woman! Fantasy Cuddy: You'd rather be diagnosing. House: I screamed "no." Fantasy Cuddy: And your own subconscious ignored you. Because you'd rather fantasize about finding symptoms. How screwed up is that? House: I used to drive home after getting drunk, but some mothers got MAD-D-D. House: Lesbian. Find out if anybody on that bus was taken to other hospitals. Thirteen: He just forgot mine. House: No, Thirteen. I just wanted to call you a lesbian. Thirteen: I'm not a lesbian. House: I was rounding up from 50%. Dr. Cameron: You're staying the night. We need to monitor your brain for swelling. House: How much bigger could it get? Dr. Wilson: What are you running away from? House: When I'm drinking without you, what am I running away from? Hmmm, one of those imponderables. House: You a nose picker? Goth Kid: Do I have to answer...? House: If the answer was "no," you would have answered. Goth Kid: You're kidding, right? House: If I was kidding, I'd be dressed like you. House: Your legs are not your biggest problem. Your biggest problem is, I don't know what your biggest problem is. Dr. Wilson: (running a MRI on House) There's edema and localized swelling in the section of the temporal lobe that controls short-term memory. Also, the penis-size cortex is set to "pathetic." Fantasy Cuddy: You're convinced your patient is dying, and you want to waste your time with a sex fantasy? House: Don't blame me, blame my gender. Thirteen: Give him five minutes. Brainstorming a few possibilities isn't going to explode his brain. House: And if she's wrong, that makes this phone call that much more exciting. Kutner: (answers the phone) Yeah? House: So the carbo-loading marathon isn't working. (Kutner looks around) Stop looking around suspiciously. To answer your next two questions, no I am not there, and yes, you are completely predictable. Kutner: You let him back in? Dr. Cuddy: I asked him back in. House: At the tail end of me patiently explaining how you idiots are idiots. House: The other nurse always used to tuck me in. Dr. Cuddy: I'll be on the couch... with a shotgun on my lap. House: Worrying about me? Dr. Cuddy: Making sure you don't make a limp for the border, get some sleep. Notice something that's missing from this episode? Add It Is there an error that we overlooked? Suggest a Correction
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