Total Isms in the database:
1439
1439
Housisms for episode Humpty Dumpty:
An asthmatic man suddenly becomes unconscious and falls off of Dr. Cuddy's roof while working on her house.
Dr. Cuddy: Maybe we were right to begin with; his problems are all caused by DIC precipitated by falling off of my roof.
Dr. Chase: DIC wouldn't cause a fever this high.
House: See? My lapdog agrees with me.
House: Pinkies are supposed to be pink, right? I mean, they're not called "gray-ies."
Dr. Cuddy: But the organ failure is going to kill him!
House: But the pinkie is weirder.
Dr. Cuddy: It's pneumonia. He wanted to go home. I thought he was lying. I sent him back up there.
House: Well why didn't you just take out a gun and shoot him?
House: You're not happy unless things are just right. Which means two things. You're a good boss. And you'll never be happy.
Dr. Cuddy: You figure a perverted sense of guilt makes me a good boss?
House: Now would the world be a better place if people never felt guilty? Makes sex better. (points to Stacy with his cane) Should have seen her in the last months of our relationship. Lot of guilt. Lot of screaming.
Dr. Cuddy: All this from falling off my roof...
House: Yeah, if only he'd fallen on his head. Then he wouldn't have any of these symptoms.
Dr. Chase: How did you know about that key?
House: Someone as insecure as Cuddy has to have 20 keys in a 15-foot radius.
Dr. Cuddy: He loses that hand, he loses his job. All of his jobs. He's not like us.
House: He can't work as a cripple?
Dr. Cuddy: He loses his home, his kid brother drops out...
House: American dream destroyed. Very sad, very emotional. Not one medical fact in the whole pathetic tale. You've lost perspective, Cuddy. You've stopped looking at this as a doctor. You're acting like someone who shoved somebody off their roof. You want to make things right? Too bad. Nothing's ever right.
Robert: Look. My heart's red, your heart's red. And it don't make no sense to give us different drugs.
House: You know, I have found a difference. Admittedly, it's a limited sample, but it's my experience in the last ninety seconds that all black people are morons. Sorry, African-Americans.
Robert: I'll see another doctor.
House: Fine. Fine. I'll give you the same medicine we give Republicans.
Robert: I'm not buying into no racist drug, okay?
House: It's racist because it helps black people more than white people? Well, on behalf of my peeps, let me say, thanks for dying on principle for us.
House: (to Cuddy) If I tried a scheme like this, you'd get that nasty wrinkly face and screech like a hyena. Very sexy, I admit.
Dr. Cuddy: Why didn't you say you speak Spanish?
House: Because she'd want to talk to me.
House: (about Cuddy) I'm happy to report we're so in sync we're wearing each others underwear.
Dr. Cuddy: Are you being intentionally dense?
House: Huh?
House: Oh my God. She's got pictures of you in here. Just you and... it's like some kind of weird shrine.
Dr. Chase: You're kidding.
House: Yeah.
Dr. Foreman: I'm not breaking into my boss' house.
House: I'm your boss.
Dr. Chase: She's scarier than you are.
House: She's a woman.
House: You see the world as it is, and you see the world as it could be. What you don't see is what everybody else sees. The giant gaping chasm in between.
Dr. Cuddy: House, I'm not naive. I realize...
House: If you did, you wouldn't have hired me.
House: This isn't about race. Unless "annoying" is a race.
Dr. Chase: You two are just too nasty to each other not to have been...nasty.
House: Hey, I can be a jerk to people I haven't slept with. I am that good.
Dr. Cuddy: Thank you very much. This guy's been working for me for a long time...
House: Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?
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