Total Isms in the database:
1958
1958
Housisms for episode Pilot:
A young kindergarten teacher, Rebecca Adler, who suffers from seizures collapses in her classroom after uncontrolled gibberish slips out her mouth while she is about to teach her students. She is taken to Dr. House and his team of experts who identify it might be a tumor, and she might have only a week to live.
Rebecca Adler: I just want to die with a little dignity.
Dr. House: There's no such thing! Our bodies break down, sometimes when we're 90, sometimes before we're even born, but it always happens and there's never any dignity in it. I don't care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass. It's always ugly -- Always! We can live with dignity; we can't die with it.
Dr. Cameron: You hired a black guy because he had a juvenile record.
House: No, it wasn't a racial thing. I didn't see a black guy, I just saw a doctor... with a juvenile record.
Dr. Cuddy: Patient is orange.
House: The color?
Dr. Cuddy: No, the fruit.
House: You mean yellow; it's jaundice.
Dr. Cuddy: I mean orange.
House: Well, how orange?
House: Far as I know she running a meth lab out of her basement.
Dr. Foreman: She's a kindergarten teacher.
House: And if I was a kindergarten student I would trust her implicitly.
Dr. Cuddy: I was expecting you in my office 20 minutes ago.
House: That's odd, because I had no intentions of being in your office 20 minutes ago.
House: (to Cameron) I hired you because you look good. It's like having a nice piece of art in the lobby.
House: If we don't talk to them, they can't lie to us, and we can't lie to them. Humanity is overrated.
House: There was plenty they could do...if they had made the right diagnosis. The only symptom was pain. Not many people get to experience muscle death.
Rebecca Adler: Did you think you were dying?
House: I hoped I was dying.
Dr. Foreman: Isn't treating patients why we became doctors?
House: No, treating illnesses is why we became doctors. Treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.
House: Oxygen is so important during those pre-pubescent years, don't you think?
Dr. Foreman: I should sue you.
House: I'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for wrongful hiring.
House: Sure you want to discontinue treatment, boss?
Dr. Cuddy: You got lucky.
House: Cool, huh?
House: People used to have more respect for cripples! (man in wheelchair glares) They didn't, really.
Dr. Cameron: It's hard to work for a guy who doesn't respect me.
House: Why?
Dr. Cameron: Was that rhetorical?
House: No. Just seems that way because you can't think of an answer.
House: Your wife is having an affair.
Orange-Colored Patient: What??
House: You're orange, you moron! It's one thing for you not to notice, but your wife hasn't picked up on the fact that her husband has changed colors. She's just not paying attention. Oh, by the way, do you consume just ridiculous amounts of carrots and mega-dose vitamins? The carrots turn you yellow, the niacin turns you red. Get a set of fingerpaints and figure it out.
Orange-Colored Patient: What are those?
House: Painkillers.
Orange-Colored Patient: Oh, for you, for your leg.
House: No, because they're yummy.
House: See that -- they all assume I'm a patient because of the cane.
Dr. Wilson: Then why don't you put on a white coat like the rest of us?
House: Then they think I'm a doctor.
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