Housisms : Cane & Able

Housisms for episode Cane & Able:

House and the team treat a young boy who claims there is a tracking device in his neck and believes he has been the subject of alien experimentation. Cameron is outraged when she learns Cuddy and Wilson have been lying to House about the diagnosis on his last case.

House: Is this an intervention? It's a little late since I'm not using drugs anymore. I am however, still hooked on phonics.

House: Why don't I have high-def in my office? I'm the department head!

House: So what was the plan? I'd feel so humbled by missing a case, that I'd re-evaluate my entire life, question the nature of truth and goodness, and become Cameron?
Dr. Wilson: Something like that.

Wilson: More that if we told you the truth, that you'd solved a case based on absolutely no medical proof, you'd think you were God. And... I was worried your wings would melt.
House: God doesn't limp.

House: The results came back. The lab cannot identify the metal. Said it might not even be terrestrial.
Dr. Chase: Really?
House: No, you idiot. It's titanium.

House: I know I get worked up when I cut microchip tracking implants out of my neck.

House: I need the laser pointer.
Dr. Cameron: We don't have a laser pointer.
House: Well why not? Who's going to take us seriously if I don't have a laser pointer?

Dr. Cuddy: What's going on with the leg?
House: First tell me what's going on with the boobs.
Dr. Cuddy: If you're feeling pain...
House: They're firmer.
Dr. Cuddy: It's called an underwire. I want to get a PET scan of your brain.
House: I think it's hormones.
Dr. Cuddy: As long as there's no increased activity in the thalamus...
House: Looks to me like those puppies are going into the dairy business.
Dr. Cuddy: ...then the pain could be good.

Dr. Cuddy: You're in denial.
House: No I'm not! (pause) Oh, you got me.

House: Riding the short bus is better than not breathing.

House: (crossing his fingers) Tell me he's a mutant/human hybrid!

House: Foreman, you gotta steal this thing for me!
Foreman: Let me ring up one of the homies.

Dr. Chase: House! Clancy has gone missing!
House: Oh no! You take the Alpha Centauri, Foreman can look on Tattooine, and Cameron can set up an intergalactic checkpoint. Let's pray he hasn't gone into hyperdrive -- we'll never catch him.

House: So it's a UFO. Unidentified Flowing Orifice.

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